I am wanting to tell you guys a story. This may take a minute. I promise Adventure! Travel! Painting! Life Changing Events!
Years ago my level of frustration in not being able to communicate visually reached its peak. Something HAD to be done. I craved the knowledge and adeptness of skill to manifest what I saw in my heart.
There was a huge disconnect with my heart, my brain and my hands. The work was in there and dying to come out.
Pain being the touchstone of growth, I looked around and found @whidbeyislandfas and saw that @seancheetham was giving a workshop. There was no way to know just how much I would get from those few days. I still hear his voice in my head all the time. Sean is an awesome and p.a.t.i.e.n.t. teacher.
Having spent the past four years working to make round things look round, I finally get it.
One of the things that I learned was that Sean taught in Rome every summer with @theromeworkshops . Instantly I had a huge feeling of, well, self pity: “All the cool kids get to go to Rome, why don’t I?” (Spoiler Alert- there was no reason for me not to go, except my getting in my own way.)
Shortly thereafter I realized that I did indeed posses a passport and a credit card- so off to Rome I went.
It changed me to my core.
So off to Rome I went. Did I speak Italian? Nope! Did I know anybody? Nope, well one person. Did I overpack? Yep. Pro tip: they sell art supplies, toiletries and clothing in Rome.
Did I understand how revolutionary the next two weeks would be to me? Not even a little bit.
I felt a part of the continuum of history.
I was electrified.
I saw Caravaggio paintings in person for the first time and cried so hard I gave myself a headache. Repeatedly. I fell hard and fast for the Baroque. I met Bronzino for the first time and flirted with Holbein. I had quite the moment in a small place grey-violet room with Bernini and Velasquez.
And I painted. And painted. And painted.
When I returned, I had a fire in me, hotter and stronger than I had ever experienced.
Luckily five weeks after my return I was to start in an Atelier, to which I had made a personal three year commitment.
So I took my fire and my vision and I went to work.
I came back from Rome having my world absolutely rocked. I felt I had been changed on a molecular level. It was extraordinary.
I set to work in the @kohatelier @gageacademy. I had never had a level of determination like that before. It really felt like this was the last house on the block- I was either going to learn how to paint in the Atelier or perish in a heap of self loathing.
Between my first and second Atelier year I returned to Rome to study with @carldobsky who is another super metal and p.a.t.i.e.n.t. guy.
I returned to complete two more years in the Atelier with Mark Kang O’Higgins who has a gift for teaching that I continue to marvel at. And I kept pushing all my chips into the center of the table and doubling down.
My paintings began to win awards in portrait competitions at Gage. I had started to have some of the facility and skill I craved. It felt good. It was a good foot forward.
It is now 5 months after graduation. And as so many of us are, I am facing myself. There is that saying: the real you is how act when nobody is watching. To extrapolate- how do I paint when I paint for myself and not for a crit? (BTW I thought I wasn’t doing that while in school. Pardon me while I weep from laughter. Holy crap self delusion is a strong drug)
I have learned how to touch the fire and paint with it. I am making work that I literally was not capable of making in any dimension before this adventure began.
I have some big new paintings that I am releasing in the next several weeks. Every word of this ongoing story is painted into them. I know you’ll see them in there.